


Catch Me If I Fall (and I'll Catch You)

by twosidedcoin



Category: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018)
Genre: Brothers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Gen, Love, Nightmares, Poor Raph, Raph cries, Support, brothers comforting each other, poor Leo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-25 02:41:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16652740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twosidedcoin/pseuds/twosidedcoin
Summary: Leo is the one who fell, but Raph still feels like he's falling.(spoilers for Bug Busters)





	Catch Me If I Fall (and I'll Catch You)

**Author's Note:**

> I just LOVE this show so much (also Leo) and it needs ALL THE LOVE. Also spoilers for Bug Busters in case you haven't seen it.

It was almost like a bad magic trick.

One moment Leo was there, dangling over the roof of the building. Yet he was still talking, bossing Raph around like he was the oldest brother. Like he was the leader and he knew best and this whole day he’s been pushing Raph’s buttons.

So Raph pushed back.

He wasn’t giving the bad guy the bugs in his arms no matter what Leo said. Leo didn’t seem impressed, and neither- it seemed- did Draxum. His face was set in a bored expression, even when he dropped Leo. Just let him go and let Leo fall.

And kept falling.

Tumbling weightlessly down, and he didn’t scream for help or from fear. It was like Leo had resigned himself to his fate, and that fate didn’t end with him seeing tomorrow. Even his words ( _his last words_ ) were acknowledging that truth.

“With my last breath, I told you so!”

And Raph couldn’t be sure when he started moving. The world had stalled to a stop the moment Draxum let Leo go ( _and he’s still falling Raph, your little brother is still falling_ ) before it resumed in slow motion. Swimming through molasses, the seconds ticking by antagonizingly slow as the distance between him and Leo grew and his lungs still weren’t working and the world had gone blurry with his tears.

Then something caught his ankle. Tried to stop him from rescuing his bossy-know-it-all-pain-in-the-spikes little brother and the world went from creeping along at a snail’s pace to too fast. Not enough time. Raph wasn’t quick enough.

Raph leapt- soared- water tumbling freely from his face as panic constricted his heart and _squeezed_ , and it continued to crush him as he was overcome by fear. Except fear was cold, turned your bones to ice and blood into syrup and no matter what you did it ate away at everything inside you. This was different. This wasn’t cold- it was hot.

Burning- _pulsing_ \- like the sun did that day they were children and snuck upside and everything had been so bright and colorful and warm. It was like that except it was inside him. A monster curled in his ribcage waiting to overcome him. To make his vision bleed red as the only thing in the whole world that mattered in that moment dropped further out of reach.

Leo screamed- not in fear because death had never really scared Leo as long as he was facing it alone- and flailed as Raph passed him. Raph crackled with his mystic energy, static in a can that’s finally been opened, then Raph hit the ground.

The world shifted underneath him, bending and breaking and none of that mattered as Raph cupped his hands, reaching upwards-

_please work please be okay please please please_

-and Leo’s thin (fragile. breakable) body landed in Raph’s makeshift safety net and whatever primal instinct that overcome Raph the moment Leo had started his descent died. Smothered by the icy aftereffects of adrenaline as his power crackled out, and he and Leo fell the rest of the way.

This time it was a car that caught him, but Raph barely noticed the pain of dented metal and thump of Leo’s arm as it struck his chest. His vision was still fuzzy and it was suddenly incredibly difficult to catch his breath.

But beside him Leo was still breathing. Not panting from fear of his near death experience like any normal soul would but Raph would ponder that later. At the moment all that mattered was that Leo was okay- _alive_. Raph hadn’t failed, even as the dark visions of ‘what-ifs’ crept into the recesses of his mind.

Leo was fine. That was all that mattered.

&.

Raph was- most decidedly- not fine. Leo was, seemingly, unbothered by the whole event, and that shouldn’t have come to a surprise. Leo’s always been the bravest of the four, and even when he was terrified his muscles never locked up or brain falter to a stop.

And death was something Leo hadn’t really shied away from. He avoided it, sure, and would openly admit that staying alive was preferable if asked. Even today, up on the rooftop, Leo had told Raph to just give Draxum the bugs so he wasn’t dropped to what should have been his death.

It was just when it reared its ugly head, Leo never seemed to back from it. He didn’t retreat like he did other things- like he had up in Big Mama’s lair. He accepted it with the grace and dignity of a soldier, but Leo _wasn’t a soldier_. He was a kid. Worse, he was Raph’s kid brother.

And Raph had chosen a jar of bugs over his life.

“Yeah except you didn’t,” Leo’s voice chimed in unhelpfully.

Raph shifted, moving his head so his eye could locate on Leo’s tall form standing over him. They were back in Donnie’s turtle tank, waiting for the others and Raph couldn’t be certain how much he’d just said out loud.

“Uh I kind of did,” Raph protested but it wasn’t edging on a fight.

Raph couldn’t be sure he’d ever be able to fight Leo again. He wasn’t sure he’ll have enough strength to push back when Leo prodded him, edged him ever closer to being the leader Raph had self-proclaimed himself to be years ago. Raph wasn’t made for leading, and he’d never be able to choose the world over his brothers.

Except he had today. Raph buried his face back into his hands, cradling it there as flashes of a Leo he’d been too slow to save flashed through his mind. Small and broken and gone.

Raph choked.

“Hey, buddy,” Leo said, voice soft and gentle in a way it only got when he was trying to get them to do something they didn’t want to.

Donnie to come out of his lab to rest. Mikey to eat whenever he got engrossed in one of his bigger art projects. Raph to stop beating himself up after all his plans go wrong.

Raph didn’t want Leo’s comfort- didn’t deserve it- but he didn’t have the strength to push him away either. So he sat there and let Leo reach out for him experimentally.

“Raph, please look at me,” Leo begged.

Raph shook his head. Leo gave an annoyed snort as his hands disappeared.

“Look,” Leo tried, “You thought you’d called his bluff. It’s not on you he’s psycho enough to drop someone off a building.”

“ _You_ knew he wasn’t bluffing,” Raph said but it sounded too sharp, too accusatory and his head snapped up in apology.

Leo smiled back.

“I was a little preoccupied with, you know, not falling,” Leo reminded like Raph needed any reminder- like the scene wasn’t permeantly burned into his nightmares.

“You could have died,” and Raph’s voice caught, cracked and Leo’s smile soured.

Probably not at the reminder of him almost dying and it entirely being Raph’s fault but because Raph was gazing up at him like a wounded animal. Raph quickly hid his expression back in his hands. He was fine. Leo was the one who almost died. He shouldn’t be the one that had to offer the comfort.

Leo said nothing as he crouched down in front of Raph. He reached out, testing, before grabbing onto his wrists and pulling gently back. Raph let him- refused to fight Leo from now until the end of time on anything- and Leo gave him another soft smile.

“I knew you’d save me,” Leo breathed- earnest and honest and Raph’s insides did another painful twist at the absolute faith displayed on his younger brother’s face.

Raph didn’t deserve that. He _knew_ he didn’t.

“ _How?_ ” Raph demanded, voice caught in his disbelief as he allowed himself to be guided back upwards so he was sitting upright.

“Because your Raph,” Leo explained like it was obvious, “and you’d never let anything happen to us. It’s sort of a big brother thing.”

“ _But-_ ”

Leo cut him off with a look, Raph’s mouth snapping shut with a soft clack. It wasn’t the first time he’d been caught off-guard by just how _old_ Leo could look, and he never even seemed aware when it happens. If Raph hadn’t known any better than he could have sworn Leo was the one who should have been born the eldest.

But then Leo’s expression shifted into a smile, and he was back to that mischievous little brother who liked to poke Raph’s buttons because he could and knew there’d never be any real repercussions, and Raph was floored at just how seamless Leo could flip between his two roles.

Leo’s hold around his wrists shifted, the slightest bit, as Leo’s entire body fidgeted nervously before he asked, “So? We good?”

Raph nodded. Couldn’t think of anything else they’d be.

&.

That night he dreamt of Leo broken.

Raph didn’t even hear himself scream, but he must have because when he finally scrambled awake Leo was there. Real and alive and within touching distance and Raph probably couldn’t have stopped himself from scrambling to close the distance if he’d wanted to. As it were Leo didn’t try stopping him either. He just let himself be engulfed in the tight, _crushing_ , hug.

“It’s alright big fella,” Leo promised, patting his shoulders awkwardly.

If he felt the wetness pooling on Raph’s face he didn’t mention it. He just continued to gasp for air Raph was suddenly neglecting him. The realization jolted through Raph’s chest as he dropped his brother and leapt back.

“Whoa. Hey. It’s okay,” Leo continued, “You’re sort of freaking me out here dude.”

“I- you- it-” Raph stuttered not sure what he wanted to say could even be converted into words.

That was okay, though, because Leo got it. Leo with his impossible ability to be able to read their emotions- even Donnie, who Raph was previously convinced didn’t have any. _A little brother thing_ , Leo had called it, but it worked on Mikey so it must have been an older brother thing as well. Or maybe just a _Leo_ thing.

Either way Leo closed the distance and drew Raph back to himself. And he was warm and soft with life and Raph felt him sinking into the touch. Whole and not broken.

_With my last breath, I told you so!_

Raph pulled away and at Leo’s expression he explained, “You were right, and I’d been needlessly careless. I honestly didn’t think-”

Leo shushed him as he drew him back into a hug and promised, “I know Raph. It’s okay. I know.”

And perhaps some part of Raph was still tumbling downwards in empty space, spiraling carelessly, but whereas Leo had been dropped Raph had jumped. Only this time it was Leo who caught him, holding him as Raph’s knees buckled and the tears fell and he felt himself finally break.

&.

Raph has no recollection of falling asleep, but he must have because he woke on his floor, head propped in Leo’s lap. Leo was stroking his head, humming softly. Gentle and patient and not at all the energetic hooligan Raph felt he was constantly trying to wrangle.

“Good morning buddy,” Leo greeted as he stopped stroking him to smile down affectionately.

Raph stalled, blinked before he started to lumber upwards as embarrassment colored his expression. Leo let him go but kept a firm hold around his wrist.

“ _Leo-_ ”

“Don’t be an idiot,” Leo declined easily, “We’re brothers. We’ll always be brothers, and it is okay to need help Raph.”

Raph didn’t bother trying to refute him, and it took three more sleepless nights, a mandatory pillow fort sleepover issued by Mikey and Leo’s gentle guiding hands every time Raph fumbled awake from the nightmare before the dream finally started to fade. Even still Leo remained, reminding Raph that he hadn’t gone anywhere and wasn’t planning on it anytime soon.

And, finally, Raph felt like he’d finally made his way back to solid ground.


End file.
